Bubble Yum - You Bet!

When I was a little kid, the choices for bubble gum were Dubble Bubble, Bazooka Joe and Trident. Dubble Bubble was tough, powdery and lost flavor in 2 seconds. Bazooka Joe was hard as a rock, did taste good when your jaw finally broke it down, but had lame, pointless comics that would anger me. Trident was boring and sugarless - mom gum - only an option when nothing else was around.

And then Bubble Yum came out and my life changed forever. Cue angels singing. Bubble Yum was so sugary, so soft and easy to chew... Please. My eyes are misting just thinking about it.

Bubble Yum became so popular they ran out of it! Some industrious kids at school got their hands on boxes of it and sold it to us at a price. All of a sudden this kid went from being a friend to your ruthless drug dealer.

Soon after the introduction of Bubble Yum, Hubba Bubba and Bubblicious came out and tried to kick Bubble Yum's ass. But they could not. Sure, they had more exotic flavors than Bubble Yum like watermelon - but it just wasn't the same. Nothing was and nothing ever will be!

I found this account of the Great Bubble Yum Shortage. http://www.topsecretrecipes.com/thesleuth.asp?id=3

I remembered it accurately. Here is blog account from of one of those kids who sold it at school. http://ckbigelow.blogspot.com/2008/09/bonzo-for-bubble-yum.html

The Party's Over

A few years ago, they changed the design of WAMUs. Out went a somber, quiet atmosphere in which conservatively-dressed tellers sat behind steel bars and in its place came crazy dance music, balloons and kiosks. The tellers wore denim shirts and banking became fun and friendly! I didn't like it one bit. I knew something was amiss. It was too casual for a bank. If I had wanted to have a fun and friendly experience, I would have taken a Carnival Cruise. See where being all cazh gets you?

Freshen Up Dilemma

You know what gets under my skin besides my bank defaulting? Twice this month, I bought Freshen Up gum thinking it was bubble gum and it turned out to be cinnamon.

Look at the packaging. The one on the top is bubble gum. The kind I wanted! The one beneath it is gross cinnamon. It's easy to confuse the two when you're grabbing yourself some deliciousness in a hurry.

I know nobody cares about Freshen Up gum since it's only enjoyed by old people, but since it's been around since 1975, they should have their shit together by now. Don't you think?

I won't be so cavalier and easygoing next time I pick up a pack.

Angry Lady On Phone

I should have more compassion for Washington Mutual customer service people because they're probably going to lose their jobs. I should be nicer. It's not their fault the bank ran itself into the ground. But last night, I couldn't help it. I had to express outrage. Just like a good white person! (Isn't "Expressing Outrage" a category in that Stuff White People Like book?)

The guy told me that everything was going to be exactly the same during the "merger" process. I got upset. I said, "Merger? It's not exactly a merger when you have no money and the government has taken you over and you're being bought by another bank!"

Then a few seconds later I apologized for being rude. So I guess you could say I'm the nicest mean person he spoke to that day.

I immediately realized after my outburst that I needed to give him a break. He was just reading from the "Soothing The Nerves of Customers Affected By The Biggest Bank Failure in US History" script given to him before his shift. Sorry!

Gum-free entry

Last month, I joined the human race. I bought an iPod. Up til then, I had been secretly using a yellow Discman. Secretly because I had been getting teased. Alot. People were pushing other people out of the way to come up to me on the street to insult me and my Discman. Hey. You know it's time to upgrade when homeless people roll their eyes at you.

I bought Gold Digger off iTunes. What a great song. The reason I'm bringing it up is this. I think Jamie Foxx is singing "Dom DeLuise" in the background. Listen and get back to me. I know it can't be possible and I know how easy it would be to look up the lyrics, but I like the idea that he is, so I don't want to know what he's really saying. I've always loved Dom DeLuise. "Fatso" is one of my favorite movies.